Sunday, December 25, 2016

Holiday Thoughts

For winter break, my brother and I took a 12 hour drive down to Georgia, where my parents are. So I'll be spending the week and a half here, in Newnan, a pretty rural town. Finally, some peace and quiet, away from the hustle bustle of the campus city life.

Take meee homeeee

It's been 3 days. THREE days with my family, and I got really angry/fed up with them/myself. I felt like they treated me like I was a baby and gave me little voice in discussion. Like I wasn't taken very seriously, and notions of deficiency in character and unhealthy self-criticism crept up on me. Didn't feel too good.

I'm with you, Calvin. :')

I am exhausted.

How can I claim to love the Lord with all my heart when I have such a hard time showing patience and understanding and listening to my own family? I know for a fact that I fell short so many times this week. Of my own expectations, of others.

Why is it so hard to love? To love fully and deeply? The challenge lies in that it requires all of us. I think I fall under the illusion that it's a natural thing to love. I mean it can be, but for active life-changing love, love to those who we take for granted, it really takes a tremendous effort.

He looks just like me

But maybe my focus has been all wrong. Maybe it's not about how much I love others. Maybe it's about knowing how much God loves me and coming to a full realization of that truth. It certainly makes it easier to love others knowing that.

Happy Holidays.

- Jinwoo

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